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Writer's Block: To the Mat

If you were a superstar of professional wrestling, what would your wrestling name be? And what finishing move would you use to get to Wrestlemania?

Robert the Weird

I'd probably do something very strange that involved leverage and pretty much making the other bloke beat himself up, because I am the little crooked crippled guy and any wrestler looks like a giant compared to me. So I'm doing the Mr. Miyagi humor thing with some weird aikido-like moves and never get hit or crushed without slithering out of it and making the big guy hurt himself. I recall one wrestling match in my 20s where I did not have the weight to get the other guy down to the mat and rode him like a bronco to an official stalemate.

That'd be an amusing finish too, it was real.

As for costuming, wear black, vampiric pallor, maybe dye my hair black or white and do the strange gothy thing. But no piercings that other wrestlers could rip out of me. Maybe tattoos if I should be lucky enough to get the strength and health to perform that vigorously. It would be fun, I will give you that. But that'd be fun whether it was on television or just fooling around in a gym with some friends. (Though fooling around on mats WAS sometimes costumed back then anyway because we were having fun with it).
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Robert A. Sloan, author of Raven Dance

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