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Writer's Block: Almost Famous

What celebrity do you think looks like you? What celebrity do other people say you look like?

Varies. Jonathan Frid from the old Dark Shadows, if I had the haircut the resemblance would be striking. David Bowie when I was younger. Paul Darrow from the old Blake's 7 show. Guys who have very long faces and aquiline noses, deep set eyes.

I finally wound up understanding these resemblances when I learned portrait drawing. It's similarity of features and basic head shape -- a lot of actors' skulls are shaped different. So this is true of anyone, you will have some celebrity that you resemble who's rather cooler looking than you are by way of having a great haircut and grooming.

It's not always a matter of style and personality, there are others whose styles are close to mine but the resemblance isn't there. I have pretty distinctive craggy features and look best in a strong directional light of course. I would rather be famous for myself than mistaken for someone already famous.
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( 3 comments — Leave a comment )
Mar. 9th, 2009 05:30 pm (UTC)
just hunting for some tips
a profile of someone odd

Robert Fitzgerald Abhold
38 years old
Never had sex
Never been kissed
Has lived his entire life thinking he's smarter than everyone
A racist
But is attracted to hispanic women
Offends everyone
Has no friends because of this
Is a standup comic, but not funny in any way
Wants to be an actor, but is not personable, or talented enough to get a shot

Rob got the computer solely for internet porn: A high end job, the most money he'd spend on anything except for the hair plugs he got in his early twenties.

He logged in, a paid membership allowing him passes to about a dozen "specialty" sites. "Hot Latinas!" "Fisting that ass!" "Close up cumshots!" He spent as much time looking at the men's penis' as he did the women's sex organs on these sites, wishing had a "big one", putting himself completely in the world of the clips he watched for hours each day. Sometimes a hard dick made him come harder than the dry vagina that was being pumped. He never though of himself as gay. He'd visited gay sites, and they did nothing for him, but invariably if a hot chick was in the picture, sucking that dick, bouncing up and down on top of it, he'd cum hard, really hard, and convince himself, it's not the dick, it's the women on that dick, that's what got him off.

When he was done with his busienss, he took a shower, and waited to recover, in an hour he'd be ready for some more porn, and he had a whole weekend of that to look forward to... A friend of mine gave me a profile of someone he worked with, and this is pretty much it, except for the name of the dude...I'm not sure what to do with this almost-forty-year-old virgin. Any ideas?

Mar. 9th, 2009 06:57 pm (UTC)
Re: just hunting for some tips
What to do with him?

What obligation do you have to do anything with him? He's found his own way in life. He has his own narrow views and they do limit him in how he looks at people, sex and love.

He has some serious problems. He's the only person in the world who could do anything to change that situation though. He has a complex view of his own sexuality, sounds like some trouble with sexual preference as part of his identity -- major for homophobes -- and until he comes to some awareness of it he's not going to be a great date for anyone, male or female.

He on his part could try taking a trip to Las Vegas or Atlantic City, two places where sex professionals are legal. Instead of just going to a prostitute though, what I would advise him to do is to seek an actual sexuality counselor, someone trained as a sex therapist to help him sort himself out about what turns him on, what he wants in life, how he wants to live.

Even if he was more attracted to the penises than the vaginas, he might never be a person who'd enjoy a real relationship. Some men like that wind up shifting over to casual, very closet gay sex with strangers. Intimacy is a whole big issue, a separate one. So dealing with his sexual issues is one thing and dealing with his relationships or lack of same is another.

Also, he might go through all that counseling, experience the alternatives with paid professionals and come back to habits that are the same as his present habits with a greater understanding of why he gets turned on by his favorite flavors of porn. He's nowhere near as bad off as someone who denies he has any sexuality. He's enjoying himself in harmless ways. He's not going to get VD from porn sites (or from professionals in places where it's legal).

If he offends everyone, then he may well have some strong psychological reasons to push people away and not make friends either. It may be tied up in the typical "guy programming" we all get growing up, the stoicism and harsh competition, the idea that feelings aren't important and friendship isn't as important as Winning. It's sad, his life is limited by it -- but unless he is himself uncomfortable with his life he's not going to change anything. At least he does have this outlet of computer porn.

I wouldn't bother pitying him, he's made his own life choices and lives with the consequences daily. Also if he's used to getting porn, the idea of seeking a prostitute isn't so far outside the bounds either -- unless his ego won't let him take it.
Mar. 9th, 2009 07:02 pm (UTC)
Re: just hunting for some tips
Oh, as for the acting thing, that is skill. Talent is the desire to do it. Skill is being able to have good pacing with comedy, choose good material and deliver it well. Practice would give him that, practice and drama classes especially those specializing in comedy. No matter what anyone's slant is, they can turn it into a funny routine in a house that shares his slant.

The problem sounds like expecting to be able to do a difficult skill without any training whatsoever because he's intelligent.

That is something that can easily happen to smart people. The things other kids in school found tough come easy, and some types of things come easy if you just read up on it before trying it. Assuming that applies to physical and social skills is a major gap -- physical and social skills take real experience and practice. So do artistic ones, any artistic ones.

He might bloom into a very funny man if he took the classes to give him good pacing and delivery. Comedy is the hardest type of acting though, so it would take a lot of training to learn to be that good at it. Some people just start the practice very young and get labeled as talents because they learned while they were little and learned on their own rather than from teachers.
( 3 comments — Leave a comment )


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Robert A. Sloan, author of Raven Dance

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