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Spring Cleaning Continues

I've been pretty much under the weather since I got the table assembled. Days have been extremely bad, even though they have also been bright and sunny. Visually it's been perfect drawing weather but I don't get around to working on anything till after the sun goes down because of how I feel.

I almost didn't draw anything tonight (last night, since it's now early morning). I pushed myself to do the cardinal because it was easy. I felt like just going to sleep, but couldn't because it hurt too bad. Then after I drew, I started feeling better.

I've been trying to get to bed earlier and completely failing. For a while I was waking up very early and having long sunlit days to keep the winter blues out. Now the days are lengthening and it's not as critical to get as much sun so I'm back to nocturnal rhythms.

It's three in the morning again.

Around one, I noticed I wasn't feeling as bad as I had all week so I got the stacks on the floor sorted. They were directly in my way whenever I turned the light out and had to maneuver past the chair to get into bed. What's left of them is about an eight inch stack of magazines on the corner of the bed.

That clears the way to start sorting what's in the laundry basket I borrowed from Karl. He wants it back "sometime this week." I was in a panic not trusting that I'd have the energy to get at it this week or not so I told him how sick I've been. But when I got that stack I was tripping on taken care of tonight, it started to look possible -- if I don't try to do it all at once.

I have a lot more reorganizing to do though.

Emptying the laundry basket is only part of it. The hard part because some of what's in there won't have places to go until I have all the rest of it sorted out. The basket is where all the candlesticks, sculptures, oddments that need to sit out on surfaces or shelves go -- and after the previous round of reorganization there are no surfaces that aren't stacked high with something, tubs or books or bags or something.

It's making me think that what I really need is some kind of wall mounted cabinet with glass doors that can be closed to keep dust off of the sculptures. Display them, maybe with a mirror for backing to make them more visible, but in a place cats won't knock them over and dust won't collect on them. I don't know where I'd put it though.

Or maybe next month when I get something resembling a dresser some other stuff can go on top of that freeing space for them. If it's one of the plastic ones from walmart, that's not optimal for a display shelf. But maybe with a cloth over it that would look cool. It'd sure be a lot better than the clutter of clothes that I have stacked folded on top of a storage tub full of clothes that I never wear.

I don't wear anything buried in it because I can't dig down to it through the stacks of stuff I wear all the time. I used to dig into it a lot until I managed to get all the underwear, t-shirts and sweats up into the top layers. Then it just became a substrate.

I don't even know half of what's in there but suspect some of it to be seasonal cold weather stuff. Not something I wear often anyway.

Even though I have been sick and resting up from overexertion, the chaos is beginning to slowly recede. It's more noticeable tonight with a big stack completely removed, even if the last bit is sitting on the bed. Eh, I see space on the table by the bed, that's where it can go when I go to sleep. The current issues of my art magazines, some of them unread, and nature magazines, some unread, are in that pile too.

I also have correspondence I need to deal with and haven't even opened. I got the PIN for my Google Adsense account and need to go do Adsense and get that taken care of. I haven't felt up to it -- usually I do things like that during the day and not in the middle of the night when I'd be writing or whatever. I have not had the energy to work on my site much either, though I did three articles this month so far.

Again, it is the pain that comes from the tiredness. The cleanup is demanding to be top priority and art is something I have been keeping up, but not anything serious or difficult that's got a commitment. I didn't manage to do the Call to Art this month or Theme Week or anything. Couldn't keep up with ebay after all this.

It's frustrating to have everything else go to the back burner and wind up out in the fog when I'm that physically tired. Days lately have been so hard that I'll wind up delaying going to the bathroom because I'd have to get up. Just getting out of the chair is sometimes too much for me, so I put off getting coffee or going to the bathroom or anything until it's absolute necessity, then try to get it all on one pass.

I know a lot of it must be the weather. With this sudden shift in schedule that has to be something to do with pressures and fronts moving in and out too. I hate what spring does to me in any temperate zone.

I remember this was always the time of year when if I was in school I would start flunking things. I'd start not being able to keep up mentally any more than physically. I'd be in classes that I cared about and had a deep interest in and somehow assignments that were exciting just would not get done.

No one ever noticed it was seasonal.

I look back and see the pattern throughout my life. I'm still getting used to it. So much of the time since I got all of my true diagnoses was time when I was also sick for other situational reasons like stress, overexertion and malnutrition that I still don't know what my baseline is when my life isn't stressful and I eat well.

This afternoon I could not eat well. Karl made a good turkey-barley pot meal and put lots of it in my fridge. I ate half of it and then got sick and couldn't eat another bite. I put it away and just sat there stupidly for hours not getting anything done except sharpening some pencils and making a color chart. So I've got food -- I don't have to prepare it for myself, so it's not always that I can't stand up to fix it. Sometimes I have problems eating if I'm that sick, just with managing to chew it and swallow if the pain runs that high.

That was scary.

I don't know what tomorrow will be like but gods, I hope it's better. Today was hard.
Explore-Oil-Pastels-With-Robert-Sloan.com Articles at eHow.com, ETSY shop, My Bonanzle Booth, deviantART gallery, SFFmuse and look for art by robertsloan2art on eBay. Listed on Art Blogs 4 U
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( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
Mar. 18th, 2009 09:36 am (UTC)
I really hope tomorrow's better for you and you get some good quality sleep.
Mar. 18th, 2009 08:13 pm (UTC)
Thanks! I went to bed about seven in the morning, got up around one in the afternoon and do feel sort of rested. Waking was agony of course, it's now been two hours and I'm starting to feel almost sane. In this time of year it's hard for sleep to have any effect sometimes, I get up more tired than I went to bed.

I need to really pay attention to the pain pills, when I forget them I lose whole chunks of time to falling back to my full weight of symptoms -- and forgetfulness and losing track of time is a common symptom when the pain is more than the meds can knock down. It's a vicious cycle that's almost impossible to break.
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )


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Robert A. Sloan, author of Raven Dance

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