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Writer's Block: Confidences

Who do you think it is easier to talk about your problems with: your friends, your family, or strangers?

Currently, I'd say family, but also my closest friends. My intimate circle. My son in law and I give each other a lot of mutual support on things -- he is one of the best Norse priests I have ever known in my life. Cuts right to the heart of things when I'm still noodling around the edges rationalizing. Pagan anthropologist.

Birth family and professional therapists rate at the bottom. People in denial about your real problems in life who have their own agenda are no help at all. People who deny you have a problem while it's killing you are much more harm than good.

Some friends I've made close friends with so fast they might as well have been considered strangers. They weren't though, not by the time I was telling them anything important.

Ironic though -- because I got called "crying wolf" so many times over issues that did prove to be real physical disabilities, I always respected confidences and took people at their word. Took their self definitions as real at least to them regardless of whether it seemed rational or not. That habit made me a confidant for a lot of my friends.

I don't reveal those confidences. I may occasionally refer to a type of pattern if a number of different people all told me essentially the same story, but I'll fluff around it so you couldn't track it back to any of them. I wasn't shy about my problems though because I was looking for tangible help with them from way back, from grade school trying to alert people that something was genuinely wrong.
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Robert A. Sloan, author of Raven Dance

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